When is it enough?

I wonder how old is too old to strip...

25?
35?
45?

I don't care what they say. I am not too old.

Crack and Special K are not friends

You guys. Crack and Special K do not mix. For reals. My shit looks like a snickers bar covered in seaweed. That is fucking gross. Molly is mad at me 'cause I took a dump in the dishwasher. EXCUSE ME! But I didn't even know we had a dishwasher. Hello! How can this be my fault?

I just want to be loved.

Time to Think

I just woke up!

Can you believe it? The truth is I am surprised I even slept. Last night I fell in love.

I met this hot dog vendor. It was about 3 am (well I guess I fell in love today! HA HA LOL- PS LOL means "laugh out loud" WHEEE!) and I say this small man pushing a cart filled with hot dogs. I ran up to him and asked him if I could have one. I didn't have any money on me but I offered to give him a lap dance. He told me the hot dogs were 2 days old and I could eat as many as I wanted.

Isn't that amazing?

I ask for one hot dog and he gives me the world (of hot dogs).

I have to run. I have the shits.

Ugh

Jesus Christ. Have you ever been awake for 7 days? It is not pretty. But you get to watch a lot of TV.

Haiku

I cease to struggle
as I drown in frustration
graceful surrender

Get excited!

And get excited!



This June in Los Angeles!